- Does a man/woman report having been physically or psychologically abused as a child?
- Was the man’s/woman’s mother battered by his/her father?
- Has the man/woman been known to display violence against other people?
- Does he or she play with guns and use them to protect himself/herself against people?
- Does he/she lose his/her temper frequently and more easily than seems necessary?
- Does he/she commit acts of violence against objects and things rather than people?
- Does he/she drink alcohol excessively?
- Does he display an unusual amount of jealousy when you are not with him/her? Is he/she jealous of significant other people in your life?
- Does he/she expect you to spend all of your free time with him/her or to keep him/her informed of your whereabouts?
- Does he/she become enraged when you do not listen to his/her advice?
- Does he/she appear to have a dual personality?
- Is there a sense of overkill in his/her cruelty or in his/her kindness?
- Do you get a sense of fear when he/she becomes angry with you? Does not making him/her angry become an important part of your behavior?
- Does he/she have rigid ideas of what people should do that are determined by male or female sex-role stereotypes?
- Do you think or feel you are being abused? If so, the probability is high that you are a battered woman/man and should seek help immediately.
The above clues are certainly not definite signs that a man/woman is a abuser, only that he/she has the potential to become one.
– from The Battered Woman
by Lenore E. Walker, 1979